Post by Lord of Hordes on Dec 14, 2006 15:16:34 GMT -5
The 700 Club is on. The guy was just answering letters, and someone asked if music is of the devil. lmao. The guy said, no, music is of God....God is the author of music. The devil could never author something beautiful. I thought this was so hilarious...apparently, he's never listened to any Cannibal Corpse or Mayhem. It also reminded me of a blog I wrote a few months ago on my Myspace. I translated the first chapter of the Bible into something about metal. Here's how it went:
Metal Genesis 1
1 In the beginning God created the rock and the roll.
2 And the rock was without form, and void; and bop was upon the face of the music. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the rock and roll.
3 And God said, Let there be distortion: and there was distortion.
4 And God saw the distortion, that it was good: and God divided the distortion from the bop.
5 And God called the distortion "guitar", and the bop he called Weezer. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
6 And God said, Let there be drums in the midst of the music, and let it divide the rhythms from the melodies.
7 And God made the drums, and divided the rhythms which were under the beat from the melodies which were above the guitar: and it was so.
8 And God called the drums......"drums". And the evening and the morning were the second day.
9 And God said, Let the instruments under the music be gathered together unto one place, and let the musicians appear: and it was so.
10 And God called the musicians "band"; and the gathering together of the music called he "concert": and God saw that it was good.
11 And God said, Let the band bring forth songs, deep meaningful lyrics, and the mosh pit yielding crowd-surfing, whose energy feeds the band, upon the music: and it was so.
12 And the band brought forth songs, and deep meanigful lyrics, and mosh pits, whose energy fed the band, upon the music: and God saw that it was good.
13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14 And God said, Let there be vocals in the music of the heaven to divide the heavy from the radio; and let them be for screams, and for growls, and for harmonies, and melodies:
15 And let them be for inspiration in the music of the heaven to give a singer upon the band: and it was so.
16 And God made two great vocals; the greater vocal to rule the heavy, and the lesser vocal to rule the radio: he made the microphone also.
17 And God set them in the music of the heaven to give a singer to the band,
18 And to rule over the lyrics and over the melodies, and to divide the heavy from the radio: and God saw that it was good.
19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20 And God said, Let the guitar bring forth abundantly the riffs that hath life, and solos that may fly above the band in the open music of heaven.
21 And God created lead guitarists, and every solo that moveth thine ass, which the music brought forth abundantly: and God saw that it was good.
22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and write prolificly, and fill the seats in the concerts, and let music multiply in the band.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24 And God said, Let the band bring forth the bass guitar for low-end, backbone, and slap-n-pop, and bass players for each band: and it was so.
25 And God made the bass for the music, and techniques for style, and every thing that rumbles thine ass: and God saw that it was good.
26 And God said, Let us make metal in our image, after our likeness: and let metal have dominion over the heavy music, and over the guitar solos, and over the drums, and over all the vocals, and over the bass in every band.
27 So God created metal in his own image, in the image of God created he metal; Lamb of God and DragonForce created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and write albums, and replenish the music, and subdue it: and have dominion over the guitars, and over the solos, and over every instrument in the band.
29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every technique, which is upon the face of all the earth, in the which is the mosh-pit of a concert yielding crowd-surfing; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every drummer, and to every lead guitarist, and to every bass player in the band, wherein there is musicianship, I have given every mosh-pit for meat: and it was so.
31 And God saw the metal that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Metal Genesis 2
1 Thus the music and the bands were finished, and all the host of them.
2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rocked out to DragonForce on the seventh day for all his work which he had made.
3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rocked out for all his work which God created and made.
4 These are the generations of the rock and the roll when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the metal and the hardcore,
Metal Genesis 1
1 In the beginning God created the rock and the roll.
2 And the rock was without form, and void; and bop was upon the face of the music. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the rock and roll.
3 And God said, Let there be distortion: and there was distortion.
4 And God saw the distortion, that it was good: and God divided the distortion from the bop.
5 And God called the distortion "guitar", and the bop he called Weezer. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
6 And God said, Let there be drums in the midst of the music, and let it divide the rhythms from the melodies.
7 And God made the drums, and divided the rhythms which were under the beat from the melodies which were above the guitar: and it was so.
8 And God called the drums......"drums". And the evening and the morning were the second day.
9 And God said, Let the instruments under the music be gathered together unto one place, and let the musicians appear: and it was so.
10 And God called the musicians "band"; and the gathering together of the music called he "concert": and God saw that it was good.
11 And God said, Let the band bring forth songs, deep meaningful lyrics, and the mosh pit yielding crowd-surfing, whose energy feeds the band, upon the music: and it was so.
12 And the band brought forth songs, and deep meanigful lyrics, and mosh pits, whose energy fed the band, upon the music: and God saw that it was good.
13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14 And God said, Let there be vocals in the music of the heaven to divide the heavy from the radio; and let them be for screams, and for growls, and for harmonies, and melodies:
15 And let them be for inspiration in the music of the heaven to give a singer upon the band: and it was so.
16 And God made two great vocals; the greater vocal to rule the heavy, and the lesser vocal to rule the radio: he made the microphone also.
17 And God set them in the music of the heaven to give a singer to the band,
18 And to rule over the lyrics and over the melodies, and to divide the heavy from the radio: and God saw that it was good.
19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20 And God said, Let the guitar bring forth abundantly the riffs that hath life, and solos that may fly above the band in the open music of heaven.
21 And God created lead guitarists, and every solo that moveth thine ass, which the music brought forth abundantly: and God saw that it was good.
22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and write prolificly, and fill the seats in the concerts, and let music multiply in the band.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24 And God said, Let the band bring forth the bass guitar for low-end, backbone, and slap-n-pop, and bass players for each band: and it was so.
25 And God made the bass for the music, and techniques for style, and every thing that rumbles thine ass: and God saw that it was good.
26 And God said, Let us make metal in our image, after our likeness: and let metal have dominion over the heavy music, and over the guitar solos, and over the drums, and over all the vocals, and over the bass in every band.
27 So God created metal in his own image, in the image of God created he metal; Lamb of God and DragonForce created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and write albums, and replenish the music, and subdue it: and have dominion over the guitars, and over the solos, and over every instrument in the band.
29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every technique, which is upon the face of all the earth, in the which is the mosh-pit of a concert yielding crowd-surfing; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every drummer, and to every lead guitarist, and to every bass player in the band, wherein there is musicianship, I have given every mosh-pit for meat: and it was so.
31 And God saw the metal that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Metal Genesis 2
1 Thus the music and the bands were finished, and all the host of them.
2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rocked out to DragonForce on the seventh day for all his work which he had made.
3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rocked out for all his work which God created and made.
4 These are the generations of the rock and the roll when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the metal and the hardcore,