Post by RobertM on Jun 22, 2008 23:07:22 GMT -5
Copypastad from /b/... these are just that awesome
I have a towel under my bed i blow my load in. It screams with the souls of trillions of children that never were. I never washed it and i had been using it for a little more than a year and a half when i left it out on my bed rather than under it. My buddy then came into my room to change after he took a shower before we went out to a party (in b4 fags) he dried his hair with that towel and came out with it wrapped around his head. I shat a brick.
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Okay, 6 years ago, in the 8th grade, we have the most boring substitute teacher imaginable. Nearly everyone inevitably falls asleep. The guy next to me did the most epic thing ever in his sleep: He had a wet dream, right there, in the middle of fucking class. His pants have this light stain on them, and I'm sitting there laughing my ass off.
People wake up to my laughing, and then laugh more once they see the cum stain on the guy's pants. He proceeded to leave the room, running, and I swear I saw him tear up.
In short: Epic things happened, there were cookies, and YOU FUCKING MISSED IT.
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so when i was in 9th grade i had this boring ass math teacher and everyone would go to the bathroom all the time in her class to get away. so i get to go and i walk into the stall when i realize i actually have to shit.
so i am dropping this unremarkable deuce when suddenly this mexican guy fucking busts the door down to the bathroom. i squeeze off the shit and hike my pants up (since the stall had no door) and i get ready to leave.
when the mexican guy sees me he just points at me and starts screaming gibberish and running at me. i dodge and sprint for the exit with this guy hot on my trail. i must have run at least four miles, down a major road, to an HEB, into the HEB, out and back to school again all during daytime curfew while being chased by a crazy mexican.
finally i lost him at a corner and was able to make it back to class, thirty minutes after i originally left. needless to say i was never allowed to go to the bathroom ever again since my teacher wouldnt belevie me even though the mexican guy would routinely come by and watch me through the window on the door.
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I was on a skiiing trip one weekend with the school. anyway this kid went into the woods to take a shit because he didnt want to go into the lodge and get soken wet as the snow melted on him. So while hes shitting he pulls down his snowmobile suit and fails to notice that he had shat in his hood. So he walked over to me and my friends and put his fucking hood up as the now cool gooey shit slid down his face and neck and smelled. Hes been a social outcast ever since.
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When I was seven, we were travelling to the US. To make a long story short, I had to take a shit, so we stopped on the side of the road and I popped out of the van to the ditch on the side of the road.
As I squatted down, I felt my load come. The tip of my shit came out just as I felt something move in my ass. I was shaking like nuts and almost freaked out when I looked behind me into the face of a curious raccoon that had its nose wiped with my shit.
Since I was 7, I didn't last long - I shat my whole load in the raccoons face and went hop-running back to the car, crying and yelling like a madman.
I was scared of shitting after that for years
This was from a funny shit story thread. I filtered out the porn and bad jokes for you =D
I have a towel under my bed i blow my load in. It screams with the souls of trillions of children that never were. I never washed it and i had been using it for a little more than a year and a half when i left it out on my bed rather than under it. My buddy then came into my room to change after he took a shower before we went out to a party (in b4 fags) he dried his hair with that towel and came out with it wrapped around his head. I shat a brick.
-----------------------
Okay, 6 years ago, in the 8th grade, we have the most boring substitute teacher imaginable. Nearly everyone inevitably falls asleep. The guy next to me did the most epic thing ever in his sleep: He had a wet dream, right there, in the middle of fucking class. His pants have this light stain on them, and I'm sitting there laughing my ass off.
People wake up to my laughing, and then laugh more once they see the cum stain on the guy's pants. He proceeded to leave the room, running, and I swear I saw him tear up.
In short: Epic things happened, there were cookies, and YOU FUCKING MISSED IT.
--------------------------
so when i was in 9th grade i had this boring ass math teacher and everyone would go to the bathroom all the time in her class to get away. so i get to go and i walk into the stall when i realize i actually have to shit.
so i am dropping this unremarkable deuce when suddenly this mexican guy fucking busts the door down to the bathroom. i squeeze off the shit and hike my pants up (since the stall had no door) and i get ready to leave.
when the mexican guy sees me he just points at me and starts screaming gibberish and running at me. i dodge and sprint for the exit with this guy hot on my trail. i must have run at least four miles, down a major road, to an HEB, into the HEB, out and back to school again all during daytime curfew while being chased by a crazy mexican.
finally i lost him at a corner and was able to make it back to class, thirty minutes after i originally left. needless to say i was never allowed to go to the bathroom ever again since my teacher wouldnt belevie me even though the mexican guy would routinely come by and watch me through the window on the door.
----------------------------------------
I was on a skiiing trip one weekend with the school. anyway this kid went into the woods to take a shit because he didnt want to go into the lodge and get soken wet as the snow melted on him. So while hes shitting he pulls down his snowmobile suit and fails to notice that he had shat in his hood. So he walked over to me and my friends and put his fucking hood up as the now cool gooey shit slid down his face and neck and smelled. Hes been a social outcast ever since.
-------------------------------------------
When I was seven, we were travelling to the US. To make a long story short, I had to take a shit, so we stopped on the side of the road and I popped out of the van to the ditch on the side of the road.
As I squatted down, I felt my load come. The tip of my shit came out just as I felt something move in my ass. I was shaking like nuts and almost freaked out when I looked behind me into the face of a curious raccoon that had its nose wiped with my shit.
Since I was 7, I didn't last long - I shat my whole load in the raccoons face and went hop-running back to the car, crying and yelling like a madman.
I was scared of shitting after that for years
This was from a funny shit story thread. I filtered out the porn and bad jokes for you =D
